I did it. I did that thing I’m confident a good portion of us involved in The Hobby™ end up doing at least once (or twice. Or thrice) at some point – I read a book, got hyped on lore and used that to kickstart a new army project. In this case the book that did it was Aaron Dembski-Bowden’s “The First Heretic” which, as far as books to be inspired by is high up on the list. The way he writes about Lorgar and his faith, the treatment of the Word Bearers by the Emperor for keeping and spreading that faith and their fall to the Chaos gods is highly compelling stuff.
What isn’t as compelling – for me – is hyper lore accurate painting and modelling. I know that for a large swath of the community, this is exactly the reason for the season, so no disrespect meant. I have over 2k points of Blood Angels that are as complaint as you can get (minus the whole space vampire thing everyone seems to say is a “problem”) so it’s not like this is foreign territory for me either. I admire the dedication it takes to bang out entire armies’ that represent to an exacting level of detail the power armoured meta-humans that grace the pages of so many Black Library books. But I have discovered that I’m not that person. Not all the time anyways, and maybe less so as time goes on. Diving into the Word Bearers project, I find it almost too restrictive. I’m constantly considering if they would use this colour, if they would have that weapon, if I’ve planned out the correct unit markings. The list goes on and on. After building a squad of 10 marines, complete with all the proper prayer sheets and maces, I hit a wall after painting the test model.
That’s not the say that model didn’t turn out well. In fact, I think it turned out pretty decent. What didn’t work for me is how trapped I felt by the constraints of the lore and adhering to it. For my brain, if I’m going to be lore accurate, that means so accurate. To a painful degree sometimes. Turns out, maintaining that level of accuracy changed what should have been a fun thing into a j-o-b, which I ain’t about in my spare time. As a result, my urge to continue sort of just petered out and the model sat (and still do) on the corner of my painting desk, awaiting the brush. Not a desirable place for any miniature little guy and not something that’s very fun to look at for myself. Probably it’s some kind of monument to my hubris or something.
What didn’t change was my desire to start a new army in the 40K/rules system that is distinctly different enough to avoid lawsuits space. Specifically, one filled with adoration for the dark gods, full of mutations and evil guy vibes and all that fun stuff Chaos Space Marine’s represent. I started kit bashing stuff together with no particular lore-based motivation; just making what looked cool to me and felt good in the moment. That willingness to just go with the flow of my hands and the bits brought me right back into the groove, and I’m now looking forward to working on this project again.
I’ve started back on the road towards the Primordial Truth that Lorgar sent me down months ago and I couldn’t be happier with how things have been going so far. I feel like the potential for this project has been fully unlocked at this point and I can’t wait to start sharing what I’ve been working on for it. Maybe this was what the Dark Gods intended for me all along?
Scott
Drunk in a Space Hulk 